Getting angry … it’s all a matter of perspective …

It’s sort of interesting, how your world view can change when you have a near-death experience … and your life flashes before your eyes.

I had just that sort of event, on the highway, earlier today.

You see, I had a semi-truck decide to cut across two lanes of traffic, and run me off the highway. And it got me thinking … how we get angry as individuals, because of the stories we tell ourselves … making outrageous assumptions about someone else’s behavior. Let me explain …

I was traveling about 70mph on a six-lane highway in Albuquerque, NM. I was in the far right-hand lane, and the semi was traveling as fast as I was, in the far left-hand lane. I saw out of the corner of my eye, a big wall changing lanes … coming towards me. I looked, and noticed he had his turn signal on. I naturally assumed he was changing lanes, to take the middle lane that sat between us.

Well, without so much as a one-second pause, the semi kept on coming … over into my lane. I had nowhere to go. A concrete wall was approximately 6 feet from my car on the right. I had only a second to react, and decided to jam on my brakes. The semi crossed into my lane, missing me car by inches and kept going on his way.

Luckily, no one was behind me, so I didn’t have anyone crash into my rear. No other cars nearby, so no other accidents to avoid.

I was really, really angry at that truck driver. How could he intentionally run me off the road like that??!?

I sped up, overtook him on his left, pulled in front of him, rolled down my window and gave him a long, hard look at my bird. Then, I sped away to get to my final destination.

My heart raced. My mind full of doubt. Should I have slammed on my brakes in front of the semi, to show him the extent of my displeasure? Was it impolite to give him the bird? What would have happened, if the semi crashed into me? Should I have kept my ground, because the semi would have veered back into the middle lane at that last minute, in a high-stakes game of chicken??!?

It slowly occurred to me that I was really angry, because I assumed he intentionally tried to run me off the road. That’s the story I told myself. He intentionally did it. By thinking his behavior was intentional, it opened the door to all sorts of angry feelings and rude behavior on my part.

However, what really is the truth? Did a truck driver set out this morning to run some random freak off the road??!? Or, is it more likely that I wasn’t actually going the same speed as the semi, but in fact going a bit faster, so that the trucker didn’t see me when changing lanes? Sure, he was wrong for changing two lanes of traffic at the same time, but I imagine he felt it was his only opportunity to get over in time to take advantage of an exit some miles ahead.

So, my point here is, I can get angry at a trucker for changing two lanes at the same time, and putting my life in danger. But, that anger is very different than the anger I might feel, if I believe someone did it intentionally. Anger is a matter of perspective.

It seems to me, folks who frequently get angry at others, have a hard time empathizing and putting themselves in the shoes of others. I’m going to bet a psychologist might say this is because such individuals long for this treatment themselves and their anger is a form of fear at not getting what they really desire. Sure, that might be true, but “do unto others” goes a long way. Understand that anger is a matter of perspective, and seek to understand the perspective of the object of your ire.